Are You Ready for a Covid Winter?

 How lucky are you? You're about to read a 'sneak preview' of an article that will next appear in our parish's January Newsletter. There's been a lot of coverage in the news lately about how adults and children are struggling to cope with the depression and anxiety that is becoming overwhelming as we move into winter months. We thought it would be beneficial to share this information with you sooner rather than later.

We are blessed at St Francis to have as one of our family, Dr Michael Fraser, who is a clinical psychologist in our community. In the following article he shares with us strategies for coping with the emotions that may come with the cold, dark,winter months in front of us. We also discuss how faith and prayer can be a balm to our weary souls.  

Entering Into the Winter with Hope

Science has shown that sunshine does much to improve our mood, our mental health.  As we move more deeply into these winter months, it seems wise to look for new ways to keep ourselves emotionally healthy as the days get colder, darker and for some of us, more difficult to manage.

Since last March we have been living in the shadow of Covid19. The effects of this worldwide pandemic, it’s sheer magnitude, how it’s changed what ‘normal’ is for all of us, is beyond our understanding.

Dr Michael Fraser, parishioner, dad, and clinical psychologist, joins us in this article to help give us some tools that might be useful as we wait out these winter days, in hopes of a new springtime yet to come.

Acknowledging that we are living in a time of uncertainty, understanding our stress and frustration is a good place to start, says Mike. The image of a backpack filled with bricks is helpful to visualize how anxiety can build up for us. Normal nuisances of every day can magnify to such an extent that our backpack can get way too heavy to carry. 

I talk to my kids, my patients and my students every week about being mindful of the seemingly ‘little’ things that can add up over the course of a day. For instance, on a personal note, street parking used to be more manageable...not so easy these days! Worrying about people standing too close without wearing a mask covering their mouth AND nose...what a bummer! I used to be able to teach my classes in a room full of students with whom I could interact ...now I have to separate my students, log on, fix WiFi issues, ask people to “mute” and “unmute” just to have a simple conversation...not so simple anymore. Each of these are bricks that end up in my bag by time I get home! 

If we take the time daily to acknowledge stress and ‘unpack our backpack’, that will go a long way in helping us cope. Moreover, it helps if we can ‘accept’ the fact that, as long as we are under the shadow of this pandemic, these same stressors will rear their heads. We call this “mindfulness.” If we don’t do this, the bricks will build up, our bags will get heavier and we will begin to show signs of irritability, fatigue, and our ability to manage the typical stresses of daily life becomes compromised. 

The mental health impact of COVID-19 centers around two main things: loss and worry. When we lose something important (e.g., a job, time with family, important life celebrations like graduation or birthdays without our friends, or simply a general sense of normalcy), we can expect to experience some form of depressive reaction. When things are uncertain (e.g., When will school return to normal? Is it safe to eat out? When can I visit and hug my extended family members again?), we can expect to experience anxiety. It’s important to know that depression and anxiety share many signs and symptoms, including but not limited to: sleep difficulties, poor concentration, irritability, quick temper, loss of motivation, and a desire to escape, which often happens through excessive use of negative coping activities (e.g., alcohol/substance use, video gaming, constant smartphone use). 

Jayne Porcelli: What strategies can we employ to help us cope with our feelings of anxiety or depression?

Mike Fraser: The first thing that comes to mind is to find something that you can control and go with that. The pandemic has taken away our control of so many things, so find something (safe and healthy) that you are able to control and do it. First, I recommend talking about your stress with a family member, parents, friends, colleagues or anyone you trust. It’s important to stay connected with others as best we can. Another thing I recommend--I have already spoken to many people who are doing this--is to make a list of things you want to do to develop yourself. This is especially important for young people. Find a hobby or an activity that does not involve simply staring at a screen (e.g., baking, drawing, dancing, learning an instrument, typing, exercising, learning a new language). Set a goal, make it a part of your day, and work towards that goal every day. This not only gives us a sense of control, but it will fill us with a sense of accomplishment. I told my own kids it would be a shame to be in ‘shut down’ mode with more time on our hands than ever and not emerge from this without growing in some important ways. If you need inspiration, I recommend the book The Master Plan: My Journey From a Life in Prison to a Life of Purpose, by Chris Wilson. This book is about a young man who went to jail at age 17 and made a ‘list’--his plan for self-development while he was in prison. His life was an extreme example of just how much one can accomplish, even when literally imprisoned. I hope this book can help us find perspective and motivation to make our own ‘lists’ for self-development, especially during a time when we might feel locked up.

JP: What does one do if he or she feels like they’re starting to obsess about some of this stuff?

MF: First of all, I think it’s difficult not to obsess about where we are and what is going on. Every time we turn on the TV, radio, or social media, we are bombarded with information about the latest COVID-19 stats on infections, hospitalizations and death. As humans, we are not built to absorb such a constant tsunami of bad news day after day. I would recommend taking a break from the news, especially at night. This is different from completely ignoring the news, which I don’t recommend either, because it’s important to be informed. This brings me to another recommendation. We should try to catch ourselves when we begin to say or do anything ‘extreme.’ Obsessive thinking is extreme thinking. Many of us are also finding that we are showing more ‘extreme’ emotions (e.g., sadness, irritability, impatience). This is completely understandable given what we’ve all been through. The concept of mindfulness, which I mentioned earlier, is about catching ourselves doing this. When this happens, we need to do our best to reign it in and perhaps take a moment or two to step away from a situation and take a breath (or do more focused relaxation breathing). 

JP: How does prayer help? Where does a faith life come into play?

MF: In my opinion, prayer, meditation and mindfulness share many things in common.

They all involve taking time to reflect on our lives, our emotions, our relationships, and our behaviors.

In general I don’t think we do that enough. Everyone prays in their own way and has their

own relationship with God. I think there is great emotional benefit from communicating in this way,

whatever the form of conversation. Setting a time every day to pray helps provide stability,

which the pandemic has certainly taken from us. Prayer allows us to express ourselves--the

positive and the negative--without judgment. An important part of prayer that is also very beneficial is

the act of giving gratitude. There is even increasing brain research on the health benefits when

we search for things in our lives to be thankful for. I believe very strongly, especially when there are

so many negative things going on in the world, in the importance of giving gratitude.

On a personal level, it has helped me greatly to take a step back when I get stressed or frustrated

to reflect on the people and the things in my life that support and enrich me.  

JP: Is it OK to be angry with God? (Asking for a friend…:-) )

MF: That sounds harsh, but I think God can handle it. We were created to feel all emotions and I believe it’s important to be true to our feelings by acknowledging them openly and without judgement. So many people have lost their jobs, loved ones and their whole way of life. With such tremendous loss I can’t imagine how one couldn’t be angry. As a psychologist, I have seen so many people stay stuck in depression, anger and anxiety because they never fully allowed themselves to express their full, true emotions. This also reminds me how important it is to recognize that, as humans, we can also hold multiple emotions simultaneously, and that they don’t necessarily cancel each other out. For instance, one can be angry at their parents and still love their parents. We can have an argument with our friend and still maintain our friendship. In my opinion, this is no different with God. 

JP: How do we hold on to hope?

MF: Staying positive in the midst of this pandemic has been and continues to be our greatest challenge. After our initial lengthy shelter in place, we appeared to be winning the battle against COVID-19 in NYC. Now we hear our numbers are rising again and there is constant talk about an “uptick” and a “second wave.” As I’m writing this, I just learned that my daughter will not be returning to in-person learning at her school until after the new year. She really enjoys going to school to see her teachers and friends, so that represents yet another hit. I am reminded about the Passion and how Christ was knocked down over and over and managed to get back up. How could He? How can we? We can follow His example, and we are reminded of this as we just celebrated the Christmas season. We can have hope that God put sharp minds on this earth to create a vaccine to keep us safe and healthy; hope that our amazing health care professionals can help us through this; and hope that our community of caring, compassionate neighbors will continue to support one other until we finally return to normal. 

Stay healthy everyone. And may God bless you all.

Don't Get in the Way of the Holy Spirit!!

 God is Good, All the Time....All the Time, God is Good....

We say it, we know it, we believe it, some days more than others, but I have to tell you, the Spirit, she is doing amazing things here at St Francis de Sales, and I am in awe of her power!

This past Sunday, the Feast of Christ the King, we had the absolute joy to celebrate the Rite of Acceptance into the Order of Catechumens (** a catechumen is one who is being instructed in the ways of our faith**) for four (4) women who have been journeying with us since the start of our pandemic reality. Two young women first knocked on our actual door in February, and have continued to attend our RCIA sessions via our Monday night Zoom. The other two women figuratively knocked on the door in the midst of these confusing days when the world is upside down, when we see only one another's eye's shining over masked smiles, when we can't hug, can't come into a church building without concerns for time and breath and air flow...these two women, after a few months of inquiry sessions also on Zoom, have asked us to welcome them into our faith.

Four unique women, single, engaged, married, moms, lawyers, artists, business women, educators seeking to follow the call they have heard from our gracious and loving God. They ask to be one with us in faith, at a time when they can't really come to Sunday Mass and worship with us in a safe and healthy manner. How will they get to know who we are? How will they come to understand what it means to be a parish family when we are separated from each other? I wonder how we can best reach out to them?

As we gathered this past Sunday afternoon for the Rite of Acceptance, three women came to church, with their sponsors, one was watching via our new livestream technology from her new home in Georgia. Who would have imagined that we would be connecting with her from such a distance! While we prayed and offered blessings for our catechumens here on 96th St, our sister in Georgia was blessed by and praying with her fiance. She felt connected to us in every way, especially each time we called out her name and waved to her through the new camera mounted under the choirloft. Technology can be such a blessing these days!

When we wonder, when I wonder, what difference does this all make in the lives of these folks, is when the Spirit, well, She goes into overdrive to make me understand how She works.

As we took time to reflect on the experience shared by these four women, each took the time to look deeply at what this ritual meant to them. They spoke of feeling enveloped in the love of God, the gift of taking time to look at and appreciate this call God has offered them, the wonder of taking the time now at this point in their lives, to answer this invitation from their creator. They spoke of tears of joy. They mentioned gratitude for knowing that this journey, while shared with their loved ones, is a journey of faith that is theirs alone. There was such a sense of awe for the mystery of this faith they seek. 

And can I tell you about their sponsors? Usually, in days when we're not fighting a global pandemic, we invite you, our parishioners, to step up and accompany these folks, in prayer and friendship. We ask you to be sponsors for them, a kind of church buddy, someone they can look to for help in getting to know how we live and pray and breath as Catholics. Sometimes it's as simple as sitting with them at Sunday Mass and helping them find their place in the missalette and showing them when to do our 'catholic calisthenics'...you know, when we sit, stand, and kneel...

Alas, we can't ask you this currently, because of safe social distancing. So, in lieu of your pastoral presence with them, we have asked some of their significant others, spouses, fiances, to step up and help them negotiate some of the ins and outs of our virtual worship. We did also invite two of our parishioners who have gone through this same process in the last few years, to step into the role of parish sponsor, albeit from a distance. All of these sponsors were so filled with the Spirit of God last Sunday, and so willing to help their 'person' experience all the love and blessings that God wanted to shower on them. I truly believe our new folks are in excellent hands.

So what is left for us to do as a parish community? Well, I would ask you to do what we do best...pray for these women, and for all our catechumens  who are preparing for sacraments come springtime. Did I mention we also have 4 brand new inquirers, MORE people looking to answer God's invitation to come and follow in the way of discipleship?

A final thought, since we can't gather together on Sundays to welcome and greet our catechumens. Perhaps as a special Advent practice you might consider writing a note of welcome to our new friends? If you're old school like me, it could be as simple as sending a card here to the parish addressed to "RCIA folks" 135 E 96th St, NY NY 10128...and I'll make sure to share your good wishes with them on Monday evenings. If you are comfortable on the computer, drop me an email, same label, "RCIA folks", to jayneporcelli@sfdsnyc.org and I will be happy to share with them. Either way, reaching out with a short note would be a fabulous way of letting these folks know that the parish is aware that they are here, they are with us, they are walking their faith journey in particularly trying times, and we care for and support them with our prayers and good wishes.

So, please keep: Crystal, Cesar, Leslie, Luke, Wendell, Angelique, Mica, Evie, Kristie and Adrian, Kristina, Katrina, Leah and Lucy in your prayers now and in the days to come. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide them and to be with us all as we walk together in faith. As we are so often  reminded these days, 'we don't know what the future holds, but we know WHO holds the future!" May the Spirit of God work through each one of us this Advent season to help the Kingdom come.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oftgdzric3c  click here if you'd like to see what our Covid Style Rite of Acceptance into the Order of Catechumens looked like!!

Pandemic World Sacraments

As we enter into autumn 2020 I'd be lying if I didn't say I feel like spring/summer was stolen from us. Living in NYC during a pandemic didn't allow for all the wonderful spring and summer activities we normally get to participate in. Having to be super cautious about where we went, how we interacted with people, meant not a lot of vacation time. Honestly, it has been mentally and emotionally exhausting. I think I'm stating what we all have felt one way or another. 

I'm extremely grateful therefore to say that these past two weekends at St Francis, we had the joy of celebrating sacraments with our young people. Last week was First Communion and this past Saturday was Confirmation.

This year's confirmation was unique in quite a few ways. Of course, first there was the whole pandemic reality that we needed to factor into how we would celebrate.

Then there was the preparation that this particular class went through in order to come to this day. This class was chosen to enter more fully into their process with guided service activities, prayer and work with some of our neighboring parishes and the chance to create relationships with some young adult sponsors in our parish. 

Finally, on a very personal note, this group of young people are the first group I began working with when I began in the parish seven years ago. Some of them, I've known since they were three years old! (that's another story) What an absolute joy and privilege it has been to work with them and see them grow into such fine young adults. Both Fr Kelly and I were a bit emotional about their Confirmation. We weren't the only ones...I saw quite a few parents quietly wiping away tears.

So, it is with great joy that we welcome these eleven young adults into our community as fully initiated Catholics. We are so proud of you, of who you are, and who you are growing to be as thoughtful caring adults. We know this world you are inheriting is not at all easy to navigate, and we promise to be here to support you. We love you and wish you all God's blessings. Thank you for your example to us. 

In the words of our patron, St Francis de Sales: "Be who you are, and be that perfectly well!" 

Smiling Eyes

Hospitality is a charism we are proud to value as much as we do at our parish of St Francis de Sales. In the past 6 years I have seen this community grow in amazing ways as we continue to look for ways to welcome new folks into our midst.

As we prepare to come back home to in person Sunday Mass this weekend, I find myself a bit nervous. Teasing apart the many reasons why anyone could be hesitant about coming into a building for a large group gathering I am surprised to find it's not the many health related cautions that are my concern, but rather, how to exhibit and share a warm welcome with others as they enter our church with our current restrictions. As you enter with your mask securely in place, and my mask on my face, we won't be able to see each others smiles. We won't be able to shake hands or hug.

In Sunday's Gospel Jesus speaks about how we are to receive one another as if we were receiving God's very self. "Whoever receives you, receives me and the one who sent me".

Maybe this is where we find our clue for how we are to receive one another this weekend.

When you come into the doors of the church tomorrow, I can look in your eyes and know we are gathered together once again as sisters and brothers in God's own heart and home. I suspect for all of us, the joy and anticipation we have about coming together as 'church' once again, will be bubbling over in our eyes and our hearts. Masks will not be able to conceal our happiness.

So, I have, we have, nothing to worry about. In fact, I think our disposition towards hospitality will find many new, creative ways to exhibit itself tomorrow and in the days to come.

As we reflect back over the past few months, we can take time to recognize and grieve for what has been lost. People we love, the ease of travel and access to people and places-how we think about all of this is different now. I encourage us too, to acknowledge and celebrate the many blessings we have discovered as a result of our months of solitude and prayer. We have learned to value the people around us in whole new ways... (or old, like when we were young, family dinners and games  again.) Let us bring both our sorrow and our joy with us as we gather together, both in person and virtually for Sunday Mass tomorrow. There may have been loss, but thankfully there have been blessings too.

I can't wait to see you tomorrow, especially your smiling eyes over your masks!

What Is Your Favorite Type of Bread?

This reflection might be difficult for some of you carb lovers who try so hard to be mindful of where ‘bread’ fits into your daily life;  Le Pain Quotidien as it were…

(A quick aside: we did all know that means ‘our daily bread’ right? Have to admit, that’s a clever name for a bakery!  And you know Corpus Christi means Body of Christ right? Not just the city in Texas...OK, moving on...)

It is no accident that Jesus choose bread as the sign and symbol that would unite and unify his followers. Think about what a universal symbol bread is. Every culture, every ethnic group has its own version of ...bread...white bread, italian bread, french bread, tortillas, matzoh, mantou (China), Naan, pita, puri….and on and on….! Jesus claims he is our living bread!
These days as Catholics who have been forced to stay away from our Sunday celebrations of the Eucharist, many of us have been thinking about how much we miss Communion, both the Eucharist and the time we have with each other at Mass. We have been called to think about ways in which we may be called to BE communion, to be the presence of God to one another, while we are both away physically from one another and at the same time, united in some most profound spiritual ways. We have been in awe and wonder as we realize that God has been present to us in the most amazing moments, if we have the eyes to see. In a very real way we are learning that all of life is sacrament and sacred. Where have you discovered the mystery of God in your life this week? 
Once you see the wonder of God around you, how do you let that change you? If we aren’t changed by our encounter with the Divine, what’s wrong with us? Shouldn’t we be changed in our very heart of hearts, if we truly are seeking God? And if we are changed, then our actions will reflect our change of heart, right? 

I had the privilege Tuesday evening of attending a gathering (virtually, of course) of churches united in their desire to work for the end of the sin of racism in our institutional church. These churches, from different areas of Manhattan, have met over the last few years to educate themselves and their parishioners, on the topic of ANTI racism. I am proud to say that St Francis de Sales has been a part of this endeavor as well. If you’re not sure of how we have been involved, I’d invite you to check out our video offerings on our website to see what so much of the focus of our Pop Up Theology has been. 
The conversation among the wisdom figures in this group quietly spoke to the level of exhaustion that folks are feeling at this moment in time. One person reflected on the image of a race, and said that this work may not be a marathon, but, in reality, more of a relay...with the idea that we need to learn how to pass the baton…
What do we need in order to take care of ourselves when we are exhausted? We need nourishment! In this instance, the food we need, so clearly, is the Living Word of God in our midst, shared with one another. We need to fill ourselves with the truth that we are sisters and brothers, children of one God, who loves all of us, indiscriminately. We are called to be that living bread for one another. We are bread for the world. We are called to stand shoulder to shoulder, arm in arm, (OK, ideologically, if not physically because of social distancing!) and witness to our unity in Christ Jesus.

There are lots of ways to do this, not everyone is called to or feels comfortable just now, in joining a march. That’s perfectly understandable given the last three months of Covad restrictions. Be at peace! 
There are other options available to us; ways to reach out to the lonely, the elderly, the sick, and let them know they are not forgotten. These are days we may choose to make peace with someone we have been estranged from.  We can share what we have with the hungry. We can’t all do everything, but we can all do something!

May Jesus inspire us to be food for one another today. May we be changed by our encounter with our very own Living Bread! May we, in Jesus' name, look for ways to build up and nourish each other, and stand united as witness to all that is good in our world.

The Mystery of Relationships

This coming Sunday we celebrate the feast of the Trinity. Sister Joseph Anita, CSJ was right...it is a mystery. But lots of things are mysteries to me (math for one....) so I'm comfortable with not understanding all of the finer points of this doctrine. What I heard yesterday in a reflection on this topic sticks with me right now: Trinity is about relationship. The loving relationship between the Creator, the Son and the Spirit.

Relationships are vital to our lives as human beings. We grow in community with one another. We thrive in the light of the love we share, the friendships that feed our souls.

Our world is hurting today. Could it finally be that we have reached a breaking point? Are we at last ready to admit that we have failed to care for each other as sisters and brothers in Christ's love?

Racism is a sin that destroys, crushes, kills.

We are called, as followers of Jesus Christ, to live in the light, to speak truth, to love one another.

Any time, in any circumstance, when we treat others as less than ourselves, because they are different from us, we are guilty of the sin of racism. (Or whatever -ism applies in that circumstance)

Really, it's that simple, isn't it?

We've all learned the 'golden rule' treat others as you want to be treated...love one another...
We have found a million ways in our world not to do this.

Oh, consciously we may try, or think we're trying to treat others equally, fairly. Many times, the truth is we are not aware that unconsciously we have all sorts of unknown biases that live in our hearts.

Here is a really small example that was pointed out to me this week: why are 'flesh colored' band aids the color of my particular skin tone? Really small example, huge repercussions.

I am challenging myself this week and moving forward to pay attention to all the many ways the choices I make may break/harm my relationships with my brothers and sisters in my world. I want to be a better Christian Catholic. I want to honor my God by honoring those in our world who have had to fight for fair and just treatment by the majority for the last 400 years.

I invite you to think about your relationships, on this Trinity Sunday, and think about what you want them to be.  May we all strive to make our relationships with one another holy and whole in the light of our Savior.

Can We Talk? No, Really...Can We Have A Graced Conversation?

Easter Season has come and gone, we are ready to celebrate Pentecost, we are in our third month of living in pandemic times, with perhaps a slow opening promised somewhere on a near horizon…

We are forced to confront our human realities still in ordinary time. 

Our country is in turmoil yet again, over another example of brutality over the death of our brother George Floyd. Jesus’ words to the leaders of his day seem particularly poignant to me: “Are you not mislead because you do not know scripture or the power of God?” (Wed. 6/3 readings for daily Mass)

If we take a moment to be honest with ourselves, let those words sink in, isn’t this the root of all our human suffering still today? We don’t know who God is, or trust God’s ability to lead us to life and wholeness. 

We are indeed misled, heck, we’re lost, if we are not rooted in God’s word.

We can get sucked into all sorts of nonsensical arguments like “whose wife will she be in paradise” or if wearing a face covering infringes on my civil rights, or  how oppressed people react when pushed too far…

Should we not rather be concentrating on the truth-

If we believe that the Holy Spirit brings gifts of truth and wisdom and courage … and we hear St Paul’s words that we must let the grace of God burn like a flame in our hearts …

Why are we, at times,  ashamed of this grace, and of this faith that we have been given…

As people of faith, what are we called to do in this moment of unrest? How are we called to stand with our brothers and sisters who are beaten down, having the very breath of life choked out of them, because of the color of their skin?

Honestly, I don’t know the answer for me, let alone, for anyone else. What I do know, is that I can’t be afraid to enter into the conversation. 

I have to ask questions and listen to other points of view. I have to be willing to learn from others who have a different experience and perspective from my own. I have to be open to where the challenge may come from, be it a conversation in a faith sharing group, my young niece, or a comment on facebook that makes me uncomfortable. 

I’m starting to understand that the things that make me uncomfortable are the clues God gives me to see where I need to grow a bit more. Can you acknowledge what part of these horrible stories make you uneasy? 

The disciples and friends of Jesus spent 50 days secluded pretty much in that upper room…doing who knows what…waiting for the courage to go out and begin to share the story of who Jesus was and how he changed their lives. When the re entered their society, their words and actions changed the world!

We have spent something like 90 days in our homes…and as we begin to open our doors and enter into society again…something as terrible as the murder of Mr Floyd occurs. What is wrong with us?  And, honestly my sisters and brothers, what is wrong with us if we are not heartbroken by this tragedy? After 90 days of solitude, time we could have used for growth and prayer…are we ready to change our world? Don't we want our world to be better? 

I know we are not all given to public displays, or civil action, but still…?

If we are not all somehow saddened by the death of our brother, than I do think our hearts are hardened. We are indeed misled, we do not know a thing about our God, who weeps at the death of another one of his children. 

So, maybe the thing is, we need to be honest with ourselves. In our heart of hearts, where is God in the midst of all of this, and where are we? Do we believe that all persons are loved by God regardless of the color of their skin? If we say we believe that, than what, really, in God’s name, are we doing? 

All I know for sure, is that we need to keep talking to one another, asking the Holy Spirit to guide our minds and hearts to ways of peace and understanding. Eternal rest grant George Floyd and our  hearts and prayers for his family.

As Spring Deepens

In a few weeks we will mark the Feast of Pentecost; the coming of the Holy Spirit. Our readings this weekend are preparing us for this great celebration, often called the birthday of the church. I must admit, I often feel like the Holy Spirit gets short shrift when I am praying. Ironically enough, I do believe it is because of the Spirit that I am able to pray at all. Perhaps I just take the presence of the Spirit of God in my life for granted, and for that I am both sorry and humbled.

In John's Gospel this Sunday Jesus introduces the idea that he will send his Spirit to remain with us, as a permanent connection to him and the Father. Very often I find myself confused by the Gospel of John and this passage is one that trips me up every time. "I'm in him, he's in me, we're in you..."leaves me shaking my head and trying to get oriented to who is the object of what sentence!

Praying with folks this week, (NAFSCC: North American Forum on Small Christian Communities) I heard something from our colleague Diane in Florida that helped me understand this gospel a bit more. The idea that in my very bones, in my DNA...I'm a person of faith, in this case, Catholic...that underneath everything, deeper than I know, is my connection to the God who called me before I was born. Maybe this was something like what Jesus was trying to explain, that the connection between him, the Father and the Spirit, is in his very DNA...and he was trying to share that with his friends, as a way of giving them the comfort of knowing that they would not be alone. I can wrap my brain around that idea. Thanks Diane.

I find hope and a challenge in a line from Peter in the second reading: "Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope"...many times I find myself tongue tied when someone asks me about my faith. Or worse, I find myself embarrassed to admit I strive to live a life of faith. Why would I be shy about acknowledging that I strive to live with Christ as the center of my life? Even as an adult I can still succumb to unspoken peer pressure. That's a tough thing to admit, which is why the challenge of this passage will stay with me for awhile I hope.

How do these readings touch you this year, as we enter into week 8 or 9 of living through this Pandemic season? What are you praying with or thinking about as spring deepens and we still try to follow remain at home instructions? Are you blossoming in the light the Easter Gospels and finding time for quiet and prayer? Are you being nourished by new ways to connect with loved ones? How will you ask the Holy Spirit to guide and strengthen you when we arrive at Pentecost in two weeks?

I hope for each of us, that this strange season of being homebound is fertile ground for the Spirit of God to nurture new growth in us, that will sustain us in ways we can't yet imagine, when we are able to move out into our cities and world once more. May we learn to hold on to the things we value most when we are free to move about again. I pray one of those truths may be, that we know we are connected to God in the most intimate way possible, through the very breath of His Spirit in us.

What's Going On In Your Home?

"Let yourselves be built into a spiritual home" We hear these words in 1Peter Ch 2 this weekend, as the intro to our second reading. I've been reading and talking a lot with folks about the virtues and drawbacks of our present virtual, digital Mass reality these days of pandemic. As part of my parish responsibilities include religious education, especially for our families, I am thinking about our youngsters and how they might be understanding their participation in church today.

On the one hand, I am hearing, how very convenient it is to roll out of (or over in) bed and into digital Mass or confirmation class, while still in comfy clothes and 'bedhead'. I agree, not having to commute to church to be present at Mass IS indeed so much easier, on some level.

On the other hand, we say we are really missing that human connection, greeting one another in real time, seeing each others faces and smiles, or sleepy faces and knowing we have made an effort to be physically together, because we get something out of being community around our family eucharistic table once more.

From what we're hearing from the experts it looks like the safest way to think about our future church may indeed be a situation of both/and. We may be able to be present to one another in smaller groups for worship, we may also need to learn how to share our faith in a very conscientious way in our homes.

Parents, you are already performing a herculean task of being parent, teacher, wage earner, chef and everything else that goes into keeping your children happy, healthy, and safe at home. It is with a cautious breath that we ask you to remember those words you heard at your child's baptism, that it is in the family where our children first learn building blocks of our faith. That parents are indeed the first teachers of the faith for their little ones. We speak of a 'Domestic Church' in our tradition, and today these words are more real, more important that ever before.

Given our present reality, for the time being, and the foreseeable future, your home is the church your family will know best. How are you sharing faith with your children? How are you making Sundays different from the other 6 days of the homebound weeks? How are you and your family accepting the invitation to be built into a spiritual home? How can we at church help you do this more successfully?

These past few months, my admiration for all parents at home has exploded as I see the innumerable things you do every darn day. I know you are women and men of deep seated faith, you don't even know how good you are. I'm here to tell you that you are amazing, loving and kind and you got this!

Come what may, as we move into our new normal, together we can help build our domestic home churches and help one another share our faith, that gift we hold most dear, with our children. They will learn that our homes are a place where we learn about how much God loves us by the care we share with one another. They will also learn that our parish church is the place where we gather together with our larger family to celebrate and support one another, to break bread and share in the very Body and Blood of Jesus.

One last thing, maybe if you're at a loss as to how or where to step deliberately into the idea of being domestic church. Ask each other one simple question around the dinner table tonight, and each night going forward, at dinnertime, or at bedtime: Where/How did you find God in your life today? I promise you, once you get the hang of it, your kids may amaze you.

Where Do You Hear God's Voice?

This past Wednesday we heard Jesus proclaim "I AM the Bread of Life." This Sunday we will hear him state "I AM the gate for the sheep". The next line in this passage from John, which for some reason was not included in this passage, is, "I AM the good shepherd". Jesus is speaking very clearly who he is and how he is related to the great I AM, God the Creator. The Jewish listeners of his day understood what he was saying, and as so many of them considered his statements blasphemy, this laid the groundwork for his crucifixion.

What does all this talk about sheep mean to us? In a picture I saw this week, (thank you NAFSCC, Easter Faith Sharing and Donna Ciangio, OP) a shepherd was depicted laying across the opening in the sheep enclosure. He was actually creating a gate with his body, at night, while the sheep slept. It meant that no sheep could wander out without him knowing about it, nor could a thief come into the enclosure, without his knowledge. He WAS the gate.

The picture reminded me of younger days when I was responsible for taking teens on co-ed retreats from parishes and schools. When evening came and it was time for kids to go to their bedrooms, the staff was very clear that boys would stay on one floor and girls on another and there would be no wandering around the retreat house, or into someone else's room at night. My staff, being aware that teens are still youngsters...chose a different team member each night to sleep in the middle of the stair well, so that no mischief would occur. We WERE the gate, in order to protect our young charges.

What does it mean to us today as adults that Jesus is the very Gate? Jesus promises us freedom to move in and out, and find safe pastures. The promise of freedom sounds good today, doesn't it? This freedom it seems, is only contingent on our ability and willingness to listen to the voice of the Shepherd who calls us by name--who knows us by name. The older I get the more I understand why our teachers called us 'honey' and 'dear' when we were younger...it's hard to remember so many names!

And yet, for God, it's not hard at all. How mind boggling it is to imagine that God knows each of us by our names, and wants to lead us into safe, refreshing pastures even in, or especially now, in a time of crisis in our world. Parents, I think, you most of all can understand this, because every moment of your days are filled with trying to keep your children safe, healthy and peaceful.

How do we hear God's voice in our world today? Who do we listen to in order to hear God's holy truth? Whose voice do we trust to lead us to the 'abundant life' God promises?

These are really questions well worth discernment aren't they? Voices surround us all day long, claiming to speak the truth, in politics, in church, in society, how do we know who to trust? So much noise around us, all the time, can make our heads spin. It's impossible to think clearly, let alone discern where God's truth lives.

It is at moments like this when I find myself reclaiming my belief in the most fundamental truths of our faith, the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. Our tradition tells us that the fruits of the Spirit are: according to Galatians 5: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Therefore, decisions and actions I contribute to or make that lead to these wonderful virtues, must be of God and therefore, a part of God's truth, leading us on the path to abundant life.

Anything thing that leads to discord, anger, hatred and harm to another, that takes life away my brother or sister, is not of the Spirit.

When I think about the choices I make in this way, it doesn't quite seem as complicated. The Hebrew Scripture instructs us, always and at all times to "Choose Life".

So I guess that's the bottom line: we hear God's voice in those who challenge us to love one another, especially the weakest among us. It's certainly not easy, but it is what we are called to do as Christians.

Who Are You Walking With Today?

This Sunday's Gospel is a favorite of so many of us; the story of the road to Emmaus. There's a lot to like in this Easter Sunday appearance.

The mystery of why the disciples didn't recognize Jesus,
the utter humanity of their sorrow and surprise at his apparent ignorance of the week's events.
His seeming playfulness with them.
The suspense of knowing what will come when they sit down to table together and
the wonder of what happens there.
The passion that causes their race back to Jerusalem and the others to share what had happened to them.

My focus rests today on the companionship of the two disciples, as well as lengths that Jesus goes to in order to explain lessons of scripture to them both. I put before myself and you, two simple questions: who are you spending these days with and what are you learning today?

One of the beautiful aspects of this story is the message of accompaniment. Those two disciples, in their sorrow after Good Friday, are off on a journey together. I would imagine their conversation to be one where they are trying to figure out what had just happened, where things had somehow gone 'wrong', what their next steps might be, what would the future look like going ahead. They surely consoled one another. Maybe at some points there were tears, hopefully a moment or two of fond memories of the time they shared with Jesus and some laughter.

When Jesus enters into their conversation, the care he takes to help them understand scripture, to teach them what they need to know in order to put those recent events into some kind of understanding is such a loving thing for him to do. He's trying to give them the tools they will need as they move forward into the future. Setting them up for success as disciples in the days to come.

Who are your companions today, during these days of uncertainty? Who are you sharing life with? How are you helping one another to cope with the unknown? What are the stories you share and how are you hopeful for whatever the future may bring? How are you praying with one another?

What are you learning today? How are you stretching your mind and heart? How are you growing so as to be better prepared to be a more loving, more thoughtful disciple when we are allowed to go forth and move out of our Pandemic caves, and back into a world searching for new ways to be connected as community?

We don't know how long we will be living in this uncertainty. Let's do our best to use this time well and to value our companions on this journey. The world will need us to be prepared when we come out of our homes, to be creative new thinking disciples for the community we will be re entering. Until then, cherish your companions on this journey.

Easter Surprises

The liturgies of this first week in the octave of Easter offer us a variety of stories of Jesus' post resurrection appearances. He's just popping up everywhere, through doors, on the shore, in the garden...in his resurrected body, no one recognizes him at first glance and he has to calm them down, offering both his peace and his Holy Spirit.

What are we to make of this today, in a time when everything in our lives is just a little bit 'off'? Our lives are so very different from one month ago, and we are still trying to adjust to whatever this new normal is, wondering if this is what life will continue to be like moving forward from here? Doesn't this sound like where the disciples might have found themselves after Jesus' death, and then hearing rumors of his resurrection? What is going on? What is real? How will this change how we live our lives going forward? What are we supposed to be doing? Yup, we have a lot in common with those first disciples I think!

Reality check: Jesus is still appearing to us today, if we but have the eyes and hearts to see him in our present reality! His presence is easily seen in all those persons who are seen as first responders and essential workers today. I have nothing but profound appreciation for the folks who work in grocery stores, putting themselves in harm's way so I can put food on my table. I'm trying to be extra kind at the checkout counter. Jesus is present to us in the kindness of others. Who shows you the face of Jesus during these stress filled days? For whom are we the face of Jesus?

Jesus keeps trying to 'explain Scripture' to them as well as teaching them about offering forgiveness and offering them peace.

We certainly could use these days to pray and learn a bit more about scripture. Can we find time to do this on our own or with others? (check out the Small Christian Community offering for Easter Faith Sharing on Facebook/Zoom on April 22!)
Peace and forgiveness seem to go hand in hand don't they?  Our hearts are never really peaceful if we are at odds with a sister or brother. During these days when we are confined with family, when stresses arise, it makes more sense to figure out how to address our conflicts gently and compassionately rather than let frustrations build up to the point where we either blow up or have an ulcer. But that is surely not easy to do, and for many of us, not our usual behavior. Most of us I think, prefer to avoid conflict as long as humanly possible. Jesus offers us peace and his Spirit of wisdom, wisdom to know when to speak and when to hold my peace. (or in my case, hold my tongue!)

Can you hear Jesus offer you his Spirit and his gift of Peace this week? Where will Jesus show himself to you today? Where will you show Jesus to someone else this week? Peace be with each of us today and always.

Ready or Not

And here we are in the midst of Holy Week, whether we're ready or not.

Given that we are celebrating our Sacred Triduum from our own living rooms and kitchens I find myself pondering what is the essence of each of these days? What are the essential truths of these liturgies and can I pray with those truths even if I'm not gathered with others physically in the same space? Whether I can or not isn't really up for discussion, I must find a way.

What are the moments in Holy Week that you love the best? How will you pray those moments this year?

I am always moved by the foot washing, the retelling of the last supper narrative, the idea of service, the mystery and wonder of the incredible gift of the Eucharist and the quiet prayer at the altar of repose when the Holy Thursday service is done...the sense of humility that comes through on Good Friday, the pain in the retelling of the crucifixion, and then just the absolute glory of the Easter miracle.

How will we pray these days? Will we take the time to pray with the readings from our liturgies at home, with friends on a group chat? Can I look for some intentional quiet in my day to ponder the mystery of the passion of Christ? Will I eat my meals more prayerfully? What music might I choose to listen to to surround my soul in prayerful melody?

I think I'm going to bake bread on Thursday and really pray about the gift of Jesus's self in the Eucharist...as well as wonder and gratitude for the gift of faith in that Eucharist.
On Friday, maybe I'll take a quiet walk, (of course keeping a safe distance from others) remembering Jesus' walk to Calvary...

I'm a bit at a loss as to what to do on Easter Sunday. It's hard to think of not being with church family and birth family and friends for services, for a special meal, for the laughter and fun. Perhaps a walk down to the river to just sit and watch the water glisten in the sunlight (I'm hoping for sunlight!!) I will find a way to hum a little Alleluia song somewhere on Sunday. I will remember the despite our present reality, the truth of Easter is that Love always wins...and yes, even this year, Love will win.

I pray that these days are most special for each of us, that we realize we are being given the gift of a retreat time with Jesus, that we didn't even ask for! May we use these holy days well, and may we discover the blessings that God has in store for us!

Peace and Easter blessings to one and all!

What Is Palm Sunday Without the Palms?

Is it really possible that this Sunday is Palm Sunday? This has truly been a strange Lenten season for us all! Now we stand here before the holiest of weeks for us as Catholics with the knowledge that we will not be together for any of our most sacred and treasured rituals. There is a real sense of loss for many of us.

And yet, today is a bright and sunny day, the earth is coming back to life, tulips are popping up in the park next door to me, and it seems like the birds are chirping "Alleluia".

How odd it is to feel both the heaviness of our present social reality and the joy and expectation that comes with springtime flowers and fresh air. Both my brain and my spirit seem discombobulated. I don't know what to feel.

I've always felt the crush of a week's time when we read and pray the Palm Sunday liturgy. We know the story: the week begins with a bang, Jesus is being treated like a rock star. Parades, praise and palm branches are all the rage. Even as we listen to or read the passion narrative, we know in our very bones that before the week is out, those same people will be shouting "Crucify him!" How very fickle we human beings are. How easily we can be swayed by the influencers in the crowd. Perhaps Jesus felt this same heaviness of heart that we know now...caught between joy, hope and sadness. Wishing that things might be different, knowing they can't be.

The reading from Isaiah reminds us of who the Suffering Servant is. Traditionally early Christians came to associate this character with the person of Jesus. Today, as we look at the many who are working so hard on the 'front lines' to keep us safe and well cared for: doctors, nurses and respiratory therapists as well as grocery employees, chefs, delivery persons, supers and janitors, I wonder if they aren't our suffering servants in 2020. Let us hold them close in our prayer this week.

"Morning after morning" may God open our ears that we may hear his word in the midst of this holiest of weeks. What is God asking us to learn today? How will we mark this Holy Week in our living rooms and kitchens? What kind of rituals can we share with one another while we are at home? If you are with your family, might you read the gospel of the Last Supper and do a foot washing with one another? Will we turn off Netflix on Friday at 3pm? If you're by yourself can you read the passion narrative and unite your prayer with the rest of the world ?

Do we really need palms to remember that Jesus is our King and our Savior? That his suffering and death is the greatest act of love the world has ever known. Palms are a fun 'take home' for sure, but maybe this year we are being given the opportunity to really focus on the point of the story: Jesus' crazy unbelievable love for us. Just as we are, human, frail, broken and weak. Jesus loves us any way.

As we enter into Holy Week 2020, how will we receive this tremendous gift of love, and, how will we share it with one another?

Lenten Surprises

What are we learning these days of our Corona Virus Lent?

Facebook has all sorts of comical references to what it's like to have kids at home doing school work while mom and dad try to work at home too.

There are also plenty of references to who our real super heroes are today...health care professionals, teachers, grocery store employees, truckers, (I'd include sanitation workers too...can you imagine....??)

This morning when I was praying, I found myself thinking of and praying for our parish families and wondered how they were coping. So, I sent a note out to some of them, just to let them know I was thinking of them.

I was happily surprised by the responses I got. To a family, every one responded that they were enjoying the time that they had been given to spend together as a family. They were playing games, reading stories, cooking and baking...just absolutely reveling in enjoying their time together.  How great is that?? No snarky FB memes here...just really busy city families grateful for the chance to slow down and appreciate one another.

What a precious gift from God!
What's even better is that we are recognizing this time as a gift!

Sure, it's hard to slow down, and it's hard to stay inside and it's hard to not have every food item on hand that I might crave.

But it's lots of fun to pick a different part of my family each night and sit down in front of the computer at 5 pm and share a glass of wine or ice tea and chat about our days.

Fr Kelly will attest to the truth that a few weeks ago when we were mandated to stop hugging and shaking hands, I was having a really hard time with that. Deep down I think I was afraid that if we stopped greeting each other with that familial hug, we would forget how to do this before too long.

I'm not afraid of that anymore. I can see how we are all longing for community and looking forward to the days to come when be within 6 feet of one another again. I am moved by the ways in which we are looking out for one another and looking for ways to offer help and comfort. I am heartened by the awareness that by staying apart from each other, we are, in fact, showing great love and care for one another.

I've often wondered why in the gospel story of the raising of Lazarus, Jesus waited two days before making his way to Martha and Mary. Why didn't he go to them immediately?

I still don't know the answer to that, but I'm caught by the similarity of circumstance. Surely he wanted to be there, just as we long to be together today. There was a reason he stayed away. We know what our reasons are today.

Surprisingly enough, at least to me, the glory of God is being shown in the loving ways we are learning to be together, to help one another, to care for and pray for one another. I sense with every fiber of my being that this time apart will make us so much stronger when we come back together.

And for that I am so very grateful.

So, enjoy your family, your solitude, your spouse...
Enjoy the slower pace, the beautiful chaos of all sharing the same space...
Be patient and loving and kind with one another.
Take time to be by yourself when you can, even if the bathroom is the only private place in your apartment...
Bake cookies, eat salads, enjoy the taste of the meals you prepare.

Celebrate these days. For soon enough we will go back to our regularly over scheduled lives. I hope and pray that when that day comes, we will remember what we are learning now, about what is truly important, and hold on to the important with both hands.

Lenten Reflections on a Pandemic

I apologize. I'm not sure where the heck I've been in the last seven months...and how that much time has gone past, but here we are, and, since we've all become a bit more homebound than we're used to, I figured now was a good time to get back into the practice of blogging!

I've been reflecting on this a lot lately...at the beginning of Lent I had prayed for the grace to slow down my life a bit. I felt like I had been running around at such a crazy pace, at least internally, that I needed to consciously slow it down. Bur really Lord, I just meant me..., not the whole world!

So, I'm gonna take a deep breath and focus a bit on the Sunday coming up. It was really quite a surprise to me how very much I missed being together with everyone at church. I missed my community. Today as a staff we gathered in the church, keeping a safe distance from one another, we videotaped liturgy for the 4th Sunday of Lent. As I noticed the maintenance man join us, my heart swelled a bit. I love these people I work with, and how fortunate I felt to be able to share this liturgy with them after being absent from one another for even one week. "Fasting" is taking on a whole other significance for me this Lent. It's not so much about food on Fridays as it is the presence of others in my life. The opportunity for human connections. Those every day hugs and greetings that we take for granted.

But I digress. This Sundays' gospel is the story of the healing of the blind man. The constant refrain in this story is the question of what happened to him. He was blind, now he can see. Was he really blind? Who was the one who sinned, as if that were the cause of the blindness? Is he your son? Was he blind? Who healed you? Are you a sinner? What happened for real? And the blind man answers only "I don't know. I was blind, he touched my eyes and now I can see."

His parents don't understand what happened. The pharisees don't want to understand. The man himself really doesn't know what happened, but he sure is grateful, I'd bet. And when Jesus invites him to believe in the Son of Man, the man is all to willing to accept this invitation.
By the end of the story, we understand that the folks who were blind in this parable were the pharisees and all the folks who couldn't or wouldn't believe in Jesus. A very cool turn of events if you ask me.

Where are we blind today in our lives? In these days of Covad 19 what do we refuse to see clearly? In the face of the horrible stories of illness and death, of hoarding and doctors being forced to decide who gets a respirator and who doesn't, of disregarding advice from medical experts and being foolish or callous in the face of an unknown virus, perhaps what we are blind to are the simple human virtues that we need to call upon today: charity, kindness, a love for our neighbor. A willingness to share (do we really need all that toilet paper?)

The question I keep asking myself is this: What does all this have to do with my own lenten journey?
Fr Neil would surely be asking: Where is Jesus in all of this?

Have you pondered that for yourself yet? What is the connection between your Lenten Journey and what's going on in the world around you? I'd be curious to know what you discover for yourself. I know there's much to learn here, and like the blind man, much I need to see.

Will we have the grace and courage to open our eyes and see what Jesus is inviting us to discover?